Thoughts in Trinity’s Bar while slightly Inebriated and therefore not necessarily in their Original Order, written on Napkins.

I can write you songs and poetry;
I can sing you ballads and rhyme;
I can act out for you mimicry
That will make you cry every time.
But I cannot say I love you.
Why?
I’ve lost what I never had.
Is that why I feel so sad?
I wish, at times, I were mad,
But still I am sane;
Still I burn in flame-
A flame of desire.
I write best like this,
Feeling a liquid
Melancholy
Intoxicating me
With a further desire
To tell you.
But I cannot-
Please.
Say you love me.
Love or lust:
Effervescent but
Always and ever
Hot and burning.
We started in-
Committee-
Imagination.
Meetings run
Forever
Dreaming about
You, about
Passion, love,
Dancing through
Tonight with
You in my
Tender hold.
Read my mind-

Howard Scott
3 April 1987

Continuing this Installment with another poem written a while back and too late.

Did you ever feel
Like you loved too many?
Not physically, exactly,
But emotionally, like
A water-tap left on
To empty its contents
Uselessly in the sink
Or tub as it runs?
That is how I feel-
Towards you, toward many.
I could love you so
Easily, so simply.
If given the chance,
I would take you
Into my arms as
Flesh on flesh we spoke
Of the New Gods and Goddesses
And the New and Old
Lives we had lived and
Loved together in lands
Far, far away- Do
You remember those lives
As vividly as I?
I remember you
As queen of the Nile,
As Helen of Troy,
As Aphrodite in disguise.
Why can you not
Remember what we meant
To each other in
Those lives?
But now we are so
Distant, so separate,
By Life itself
Denied what we
Might have been.
I love you too much
To just let you go,
But I’ve never held
You like I’ve wanted
To, gently, tenderly,
Heat on heat, if only
For one night, one night.
I wanted to love you
So badly, but could
Never catch your eye.
Now one of us is leaving
And I cannot say goodbye.
You know who you are,
And I love you-
I love you-
I love you.

Howard Scott
28 October 1987